And I'm already sick of work. People come into my office to tell me there's some sort of vending machine conspiracy involving the bagged chips and candy bars. Why? Because my office is right across from the break room and I guess they feel it's their duty to inform me of their snack buying escapades.
"$0.75 cents for a small bag of mostly air? I'll bet the vending machine people are laughing all the way to the bank."
Yes, it's a vending machine, not a mini-Wal-Mart. You're paying for the instant access to snacks, candy bars and sodas. Do I need to hear about it? Probably not. Do I hear about it? Yep, every day.
Here's the kicker... sometimes the vending machine would jam up, not fully releasing the snack from the corkscrew-like dispenser. Have you ever seen a pregnant lady not get her Kit Kat bar? I have and it's not pretty. I recall the day that lady went into labor on the day the machine held onto her Hostess cupcakes. As the paramedics were delivering the baby, she was still pounding on the machine trying to jar the snack free.
Okay, I'm exaggerating. She didn't go into labor, there were no paramedics and by lady, I meant a man, a handsome man. Okay it was me.... but you must understand that $0.75 cents is hard to come by for a guy like me.
*ahem*
Imagine if you will the day the vending machine people raised the prices. Yes, they raised the price of a candy bar from $0.50 cents to $0.60 cents. Now it had become impossible to buy a candy bar and soda with the same dollar.
The chips went from $0.65 cents to $0.75 cents. Luckily, the moldy, hard gum circa 1976 at the bottom of the machine remained $0.40 cents. Focus on the positive?
I kept a dime in my drawer at all times in case I ran into the one employee who hadn't yet noticed the price increase, just to keep the peace once they realized their $0.50 cents was worthless when trying to buy that ancient Snickers bar.
Most people know the prices now... that dime sits unused in my drawer. Occasionally I still get an earful from that one uninformed employee about the increase. I reach into my drawer, pull out the dime and flick it to them...
Sometimes I wanna say;
"Here's a dime... call someone who cares."
A phone call still costs a dime right?
-Jeff
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
A case of the Mondays...
Yugh! Monday, 'nuff said!
I made a list of things I need to do... not today necessarily, nor this week, but sometime.
I made a list of things I need to do... not today necessarily, nor this week, but sometime.
- I need to sell some stuff on eBay again, my "fun funds" have dwindled to like $3 bucks.
- Re-pot my tree. Got the new bowl like 2 weeks ago too. I'm a slacker!
- Write. Write. Write. That book's not gonna write itself.
- Clean my car, get the spare tire and jack put back properly. Neatly fold my hoodies and get the fog light repaired.
- Look for new music. I'm running out of stuff to listen to.
- Build that time machine before the Flux Capacitor wears out.
Speaking of time machines... if you had the ability to go anywhere, where would you go?
Would you travel back or forward? Would you try to save lives by warning of tragic events? Would you try to make money? Would you alter history? Observe it? Use future knowledge to play the stock market?
Here's something interesting... if you go back in time, let's say to 9-11-01 (or slightly before) to try to prevent those terrorists from their evil plan, how would you do it? Tell police? The FBI? Would they believe you? Would you get in trouble for knowing too much? Would they think you were a co-conspirator?
Here's an even weirder thought... what if you were able to stop 9-11? Let's say one of the people who died on that fateful day didn't. Then they had children that they would not have had before and what if one of those children grew up to be a tyrant? Hearing stories of how his or her mother or father had almost been killed by terrorists... that child then took it upon himself to rid the world of all terrorists. But in the course ends up being a terrorist himself?
Or let's say that child's grandchild ends up being a scientist who makes a huge miscalculation during an experiment and accidentally creates a virus that kills off all the plankton in the oceans.
Or one of the people you end up saving gets drunk one day and slams their car into you as you're driving home... killing you instantly.
I'm not saying anyone who died on 9-11 deserved to die because they were evil or were going to spawn evil, far from it... but I try to think of the what if's when dealing with time travel... I for one would only observe. I guess I would try to warn everyone, but it can be very dangerous. I have to believe that their deaths had some sort of reason. That all deaths have some sort of reason.
I would personally go back a lot father... to the unsolved mysteries of all time. Perhaps to witness important historical events... the rise and fall of Rome, the birth of Christ, the Titanic voyage. I would watch Rome burn as Nero played his lyre, watch as the Greek build the Trojan Horse and sack ancient Troy, witness what really happened 65 million years ago. Was it a massive asteroid or a slow global climate change that wiped out the dinosaurs?
I'd hide in the bushes next to a dude who claimed to be abducted by aliens, just to see if he was right or if he made it up.
In the end I would travel time to observe history in the making... but the cool thing is... most historians and anthropologists do just that without the need of a time machine... they do it with research and study.
I love history. I love mysteries. I love imagination. I love science. I love geography. I guess that's why I like writing... I can use all of them at the same time and hopefully create a good story.
That's all for now... I'll write more in a bit...
-Jeff
Friday, March 14, 2008
I love Fridays...
Most people do, I suppose.
What I love about them is that most of the people here at work are gone. So it's quiet. Plus I get to leave early most of the time AND get paid for it. 'tis nice! It gives me time to catch up on my weekly work. No one bugs me, no one needs my help.
The roads are usually less congested. You get to wear jeans and a t-shirt. I'm sportin' the cool beige denim pants my wife got me a long time ago from Old Navy and a black button up short sleeve shirt, black belt and black shoes.
This morning my wife said I looked all sorts of cool, hot, cute, handsome, take your pick... and I believe her... yeah, yeah, yeah... :D
So here's something funny...
Do you ever have others not believe you, even when you're telling the honest truth about something?
I do... and it bugs! I'm not a liar most of the time... I always get called on my lies, most of them are silly and harmless, more story-telling than lies... I love telling stories. Tall tales. But you can always tell when I'm making something up because I usually go off on a very strange tangent usually involving weasels and giant donuts.
But there are times when I do tell the truth. For the most part I'm a truthful person. Here are some examples;
1. After I graduated High School I got a phone call from the school, they had the wrong number. They were looking for a student named "James" or something, I can't remember exactly. James had been sluffing (playing hooky) from school for some time. The principal called to see what was up. So of course hearing a young man's voice he naturally assumed I was James.
"You have the wrong number, there's no James here."
"Cut the crap James, why aren't you going to school?"
"I'm not James... I swear! My name is Jeff, I graduated last year, check your files."
He never did believe me, but eventually stopped calling. Maybe he checked his files?
And that reminds me of another similar story... I was chillin at Dee's, a local diner, having lunch one day in 1996 or so. It just so happened to be across the street from a high school. I kept wondering why I was getting such lousy service and dirty looks from the staff. Suddenly a man approached me with a walkie-talkie. He had a badge from the school district.
"Students aren't allowed here during school hours."
That's good to know, I thought, but what does that have to do with me? It then dawned on me that everyone thought I was a student. This sucks!
"What class are you supposed to be in?" He asked.
"I'm not a student."
"Nice try, get up and get back to class."
"No really... I'm not a student." At this point everyone in the restaurant was staring at me. The waitress was standing there tapping her foot. She had this look on her face as if I were going to stiff her the check and tip.
"Let's see your student ID."
"I don't have one because I'm not a student... here's my State ID." (At the time I didn't have my driver's licence yet, another long story.)
JEFF P. - BORN 04/27/74, Yes, and as of 1996 that made me 22 years old. The guy checks the ID like a bartender, making sure it's not fake. Calls my name in on his walkie to make sure there wasn't a 22 year old student still attending high school.
He tells me they have problems with students coming into the restaurant during school hours. So the staff calls when they suspect one is there... I guess I should be complimented that I was so youthful that I looked like a kid, of course at 22, one isn't much more mature usually. I was still getting carded at bars and restaurants at 33 years old, haha.
2. My wife. For some reason she thinks I'm always making things up. One example... I was talking about Hawaii. I said they have all of the climate zones in one state. Tropical, desert, temperate and snow.
Of course she doesn't believe there's snowfall on Hawaii. She makes a bet... $160 bucks. I of course knew I was right, so I didn't bet her, because I didn't want her to lose. Even though the money woulda been nice, it was a sucker's bet, in my opinion. I've seen pics of the observatory on the top of the mountains covered in snow. So I knew I was right.
She still didn't believe me... so we head over to wikipedia.com, search for Hawaii. She's reading aloud with such confidence that she's right and I'm wrong.
"The climate of Hawaii is typical for a tropical area. Summer highs are usually in the upper 80s°F, during the day and mid 70s, at night. Winter temperatures during the day are usually in the low to mid 80s, and (at low elevation) seldom dipping below the mid 60s at night. Snow, although not usually associated with tropics, falls at the higher elevations of Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa on the Big Island in some winter months."
She stops reading... "Shizzz!!!" she exclaims.
Yes baby, I was right. Why would I lie to you, honey?!!!
However, I do have some fun with my lies too...
We were driving home one night and passed a self-storage place called Castle Storage. It looks like a castle, all decked out with towers and everything. They have a sign that reads:
"Why store in the dungeon, when you can use a castle?"
I told my beautiful wife that I thought that was funny because "Dungeon" was Latin for "a storage place for castles" Total bullcrap!!! Hahaha, and I never thought she'd believe me... but she did.
When I fessed up, she was a little upset with me. I never intended to make her feel stupid, but I guess I did, I'm sorry honey! I love you. you're the smartest person I know...
And that's the truth!
-Jeff
What I love about them is that most of the people here at work are gone. So it's quiet. Plus I get to leave early most of the time AND get paid for it. 'tis nice! It gives me time to catch up on my weekly work. No one bugs me, no one needs my help.
The roads are usually less congested. You get to wear jeans and a t-shirt. I'm sportin' the cool beige denim pants my wife got me a long time ago from Old Navy and a black button up short sleeve shirt, black belt and black shoes.
This morning my wife said I looked all sorts of cool, hot, cute, handsome, take your pick... and I believe her... yeah, yeah, yeah... :D
So here's something funny...
Do you ever have others not believe you, even when you're telling the honest truth about something?
I do... and it bugs! I'm not a liar most of the time... I always get called on my lies, most of them are silly and harmless, more story-telling than lies... I love telling stories. Tall tales. But you can always tell when I'm making something up because I usually go off on a very strange tangent usually involving weasels and giant donuts.
But there are times when I do tell the truth. For the most part I'm a truthful person. Here are some examples;
1. After I graduated High School I got a phone call from the school, they had the wrong number. They were looking for a student named "James" or something, I can't remember exactly. James had been sluffing (playing hooky) from school for some time. The principal called to see what was up. So of course hearing a young man's voice he naturally assumed I was James.
"You have the wrong number, there's no James here."
"Cut the crap James, why aren't you going to school?"
"I'm not James... I swear! My name is Jeff, I graduated last year, check your files."
He never did believe me, but eventually stopped calling. Maybe he checked his files?
And that reminds me of another similar story... I was chillin at Dee's, a local diner, having lunch one day in 1996 or so. It just so happened to be across the street from a high school. I kept wondering why I was getting such lousy service and dirty looks from the staff. Suddenly a man approached me with a walkie-talkie. He had a badge from the school district.
"Students aren't allowed here during school hours."
That's good to know, I thought, but what does that have to do with me? It then dawned on me that everyone thought I was a student. This sucks!
"What class are you supposed to be in?" He asked.
"I'm not a student."
"Nice try, get up and get back to class."
"No really... I'm not a student." At this point everyone in the restaurant was staring at me. The waitress was standing there tapping her foot. She had this look on her face as if I were going to stiff her the check and tip.
"Let's see your student ID."
"I don't have one because I'm not a student... here's my State ID." (At the time I didn't have my driver's licence yet, another long story.)
JEFF P. - BORN 04/27/74, Yes, and as of 1996 that made me 22 years old. The guy checks the ID like a bartender, making sure it's not fake. Calls my name in on his walkie to make sure there wasn't a 22 year old student still attending high school.
He tells me they have problems with students coming into the restaurant during school hours. So the staff calls when they suspect one is there... I guess I should be complimented that I was so youthful that I looked like a kid, of course at 22, one isn't much more mature usually. I was still getting carded at bars and restaurants at 33 years old, haha.
2. My wife. For some reason she thinks I'm always making things up. One example... I was talking about Hawaii. I said they have all of the climate zones in one state. Tropical, desert, temperate and snow.
Of course she doesn't believe there's snowfall on Hawaii. She makes a bet... $160 bucks. I of course knew I was right, so I didn't bet her, because I didn't want her to lose. Even though the money woulda been nice, it was a sucker's bet, in my opinion. I've seen pics of the observatory on the top of the mountains covered in snow. So I knew I was right.
She still didn't believe me... so we head over to wikipedia.com, search for Hawaii. She's reading aloud with such confidence that she's right and I'm wrong.
"The climate of Hawaii is typical for a tropical area. Summer highs are usually in the upper 80s°F, during the day and mid 70s, at night. Winter temperatures during the day are usually in the low to mid 80s, and (at low elevation) seldom dipping below the mid 60s at night. Snow, although not usually associated with tropics, falls at the higher elevations of Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa on the Big Island in some winter months."
She stops reading... "Shizzz!!!" she exclaims.
Yes baby, I was right. Why would I lie to you, honey?!!!
However, I do have some fun with my lies too...
We were driving home one night and passed a self-storage place called Castle Storage. It looks like a castle, all decked out with towers and everything. They have a sign that reads:
"Why store in the dungeon, when you can use a castle?"
I told my beautiful wife that I thought that was funny because "Dungeon" was Latin for "a storage place for castles" Total bullcrap!!! Hahaha, and I never thought she'd believe me... but she did.
When I fessed up, she was a little upset with me. I never intended to make her feel stupid, but I guess I did, I'm sorry honey! I love you. you're the smartest person I know...
And that's the truth!
-Jeff
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Ummm, yeah...
So my mother blogged about her neighbor yesterday. This neighbor lost her sister and mother recently to cancer. She mentions "her two young sons and husband."
So I assume it's my good friends Jenny and Brooks. Jenny was our wedding photographer and Brooks was my best man! They have 2 young sons, they have sisters, they have mothers.
I write them a long email filled with my sympathies and condolences.
Come to find out today that my mom was referring to the other neighbors. I didn't even know they had two sons, I only knew of just the one. So now I feel like a moron... thanks for being vague ma! I guess it's partially my fault for not making sure I had all the facts.
Reminds me of a couple of other times...
I was offered a job with a young couple working at Mrs Fields Cookies way back in 1994-95 or so... They used to be in Utah, but opened up their own store in Myrtle Beach. This was before email and cell phones were really around. Most communication was still via land line phone and snail mail. If I remember her name was Debbie, I can't remember his name anymore...
They wanted me to run the store, a sort of assistant manager, or assistant to the manager, whatever... it was supposed to be better than what I had been doing... flipping burgers at Hardees for the night shift.
I called them to let them know I needed more information before I could make my decision. It was on the other side of the country and in a very upscale touristy town. They give me their phone number and mail me a local Sunday paper so I can start looking for apartments... it's not good... it's very expensive to live there. I had to think hard about it.
I dial the number I was given... to at least let them know that I am thinking about it... I get an answering machine... "Hi this is Debbie, leave me a message."
"Hi Debbie, it's Jeff in Utah. I'll try calling back later." CLICK. I call a few more times, no reply. I leave more messages, growing increasingly vexed each time.
One early Sunday morning I try yet again... Finally an answer...
"Hello?"
"Hi, Debbie?"
"Yes."
"Hey, it's Jeff."
"Who?"
"Jeff, from Utah."
"Uhhh, okay."
"I'm still thinking about coming out, but I need to find a place to live first. It's pretty expensive out there."
"Wait who's this?"
"Jeff... in Utah."
"I think you have the wrong number."
"This is Debbie right? It's Jeff."
"Ummm yeah, you have the wrong number."
Click.
What the crap? Is she an idiot? I have the wrong number? I just happened to dial the number I thought was theirs and by some weird stroke of luck I just happen to find another person named Debbie? What are the odds?
So a few weeks later the real Debbie finally calls me back and she's all.... "What's up, haven't heard back from you about coming out here." Well yeah, because you gave me the wrong number ding-a-ling. Anyway I get more specifics about the job and how much they can pay me... $9.50-10 an hr. WTF???? Yeah, not gonna happen. I could never survive out there on that. She tries to tell me I could fiind a second or even third job and that should be enough to make it.
No thanks.
Then another story about getting the wrong person... this happened in 2001. By now Google and the internet was pretty mainstream. You can locate anyone, anywhere, get their phone number and address with the click of a mouse.
I'm chillin' in my apartment when my phone rings. Wha? No one calls me. Especially at 9:30 at night. Makes me wonder sometimes why I even got the phone in the first place. I pick up...
"Hi, Jeff P.?" (Last name withheld.)
"Yes."
"This is your aunt. Your mom died last night."
.......
.......
.......
My mom died? Oh my god! My mom died. I'm speechless, my world is crashing to the ground. When, why, why isn't dad telling me? I just talked to her last night.
"Are you going to fly out to Atlanta for the funeral?"
"Fly to Atlanta? Wait, who is this?"
"Aunt Thelma. From Ruth's side."
By now I realize she had the wrong Jeff P. I had been getting calls for some time meant for another Jeff P. in Utah. It was very annoying before, but now it was terrifying. I pick myself up from the floor and tell her she has the wrong Jeff.
"Oh... never mind then. Could you let him know?"
She still doesn't understand that there's more than one Jeff P. living in Utah. In fact the last time I checked there were 4 other variations of Jeff P. living in Utah and she got the wrong one. I let her know that she should make sure she has the right one before dropping such news on someone.
After that I called my mom at nearly 10 PM, way past their bed time, just to make sure she was okay. She was. Phew...
-Jeff P.... the one and only.
So I assume it's my good friends Jenny and Brooks. Jenny was our wedding photographer and Brooks was my best man! They have 2 young sons, they have sisters, they have mothers.
I write them a long email filled with my sympathies and condolences.
Come to find out today that my mom was referring to the other neighbors. I didn't even know they had two sons, I only knew of just the one. So now I feel like a moron... thanks for being vague ma! I guess it's partially my fault for not making sure I had all the facts.
Reminds me of a couple of other times...
I was offered a job with a young couple working at Mrs Fields Cookies way back in 1994-95 or so... They used to be in Utah, but opened up their own store in Myrtle Beach. This was before email and cell phones were really around. Most communication was still via land line phone and snail mail. If I remember her name was Debbie, I can't remember his name anymore...
They wanted me to run the store, a sort of assistant manager, or assistant to the manager, whatever... it was supposed to be better than what I had been doing... flipping burgers at Hardees for the night shift.
I called them to let them know I needed more information before I could make my decision. It was on the other side of the country and in a very upscale touristy town. They give me their phone number and mail me a local Sunday paper so I can start looking for apartments... it's not good... it's very expensive to live there. I had to think hard about it.
I dial the number I was given... to at least let them know that I am thinking about it... I get an answering machine... "Hi this is Debbie, leave me a message."
"Hi Debbie, it's Jeff in Utah. I'll try calling back later." CLICK. I call a few more times, no reply. I leave more messages, growing increasingly vexed each time.
One early Sunday morning I try yet again... Finally an answer...
"Hello?"
"Hi, Debbie?"
"Yes."
"Hey, it's Jeff."
"Who?"
"Jeff, from Utah."
"Uhhh, okay."
"I'm still thinking about coming out, but I need to find a place to live first. It's pretty expensive out there."
"Wait who's this?"
"Jeff... in Utah."
"I think you have the wrong number."
"This is Debbie right? It's Jeff."
"Ummm yeah, you have the wrong number."
Click.
What the crap? Is she an idiot? I have the wrong number? I just happened to dial the number I thought was theirs and by some weird stroke of luck I just happen to find another person named Debbie? What are the odds?
So a few weeks later the real Debbie finally calls me back and she's all.... "What's up, haven't heard back from you about coming out here." Well yeah, because you gave me the wrong number ding-a-ling. Anyway I get more specifics about the job and how much they can pay me... $9.50-10 an hr. WTF???? Yeah, not gonna happen. I could never survive out there on that. She tries to tell me I could fiind a second or even third job and that should be enough to make it.
No thanks.
Then another story about getting the wrong person... this happened in 2001. By now Google and the internet was pretty mainstream. You can locate anyone, anywhere, get their phone number and address with the click of a mouse.
I'm chillin' in my apartment when my phone rings. Wha? No one calls me. Especially at 9:30 at night. Makes me wonder sometimes why I even got the phone in the first place. I pick up...
"Hi, Jeff P.?" (Last name withheld.)
"Yes."
"This is your aunt. Your mom died last night."
.......
.......
.......
My mom died? Oh my god! My mom died. I'm speechless, my world is crashing to the ground. When, why, why isn't dad telling me? I just talked to her last night.
"Are you going to fly out to Atlanta for the funeral?"
"Fly to Atlanta? Wait, who is this?"
"Aunt Thelma. From Ruth's side."
By now I realize she had the wrong Jeff P. I had been getting calls for some time meant for another Jeff P. in Utah. It was very annoying before, but now it was terrifying. I pick myself up from the floor and tell her she has the wrong Jeff.
"Oh... never mind then. Could you let him know?"
She still doesn't understand that there's more than one Jeff P. living in Utah. In fact the last time I checked there were 4 other variations of Jeff P. living in Utah and she got the wrong one. I let her know that she should make sure she has the right one before dropping such news on someone.
After that I called my mom at nearly 10 PM, way past their bed time, just to make sure she was okay. She was. Phew...
-Jeff P.... the one and only.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Fun with Google Earth and Live Search Maps
Google Earth is cool, but there is a new thing called Live Search, it's MSN's version of Google Earth. Seems to be updated more often, plus its got a cool feature called "Bird's Eye-view."
Pretty cool... I just wish they had exact dates on the pics so I could see where I was... you never know, you could one day be able to see yourself, or at least your car.
Google Earth combines satellite and aircraft photos, however I'm not sure if the Bird's eye-view stuff is from a plane or a satellite.
So I started looking for cool things around town...
My work...
Looks like that photo was taken on a weekend, that's why there are no cars in the lot. My office is toward the bottom right next to the smaller tree.
Next is our house... top right of the center block of houses.
Here's another angle...
Here's a pic of my parent's house... (Pretty much dead center of the pic) you can see my dad's truck in the driveway and the trash can on the curb... so we know it was a Friday. Plus there are no leaves on the trees, so it was in fall/winter and it still has the old roof... kinda narrows it down a bit more.
And finally my In-law's beautiful home... second on the right of the cul-de-sac.
Pretty cool... I just wish they had exact dates on the pics so I could see where I was... you never know, you could one day be able to see yourself, or at least your car.
-Jeff
Lean Cuisine
I'm not much for diet food. Low fat, low calorie, whatever. Not a fan. It does taste differently. In the past I've heard, "After a while, you'll get used to the taste." Well... if it tastes bad, why would I want to get used to it.
I mean... it's like saying "Getting kicked in the nads hurts, but if you keep doing it, eventually you'll get used to it." Nope. Never going to happen, that's not something you WANT to get used to.
Not exactly apples to apples, but you get my point.
Soda is a good example of this. You have regular, yummy, rich soda like Vault, Mt. Dew, Rootbeer and Coke. Then you have the diet versions...
Totally not the same, of course, but I keep getting told, "drink them long enough and you'll get used to it." Goes back to my original point. Now... I drink a lot of liquid during the day. A lot. I'd love it if I could drink water most of the time, however I just can't drink large amounts of water like everyone else... it's too watery. (Hehe) And if it's mineral water... it's waaaaayyyy tooo salty tasting.
Now here's my point...
My wife wants me to out live her. She says she wants to die first so she won't be left on this world without me. (Makes me almost cry.) I'm like... I don't wanna be here without you either. But she gets that one I guess.
She suggested I drink 1% milk instead of the 2% I've been drinking since the dawn of time. She also wanted me to cut down the 3 gallons I used to drink a week to just one. Yes 3 gallons a week. I love milk. I was reluctant at first, but I cut down to one gallon a week, sometimes even one gallon every week and a half of the 1%. I'm cool with that.
She didn't like me having a candy dish at work, in case I raided it more than my employees. Poof, no more candy dish at work.
She wanted me to cut down on my soda intake. I'm still working on that one. I have gotten off the caffene somewhat, I would rather drink grape, orange or rootbeer soda. But when I need to stay awake for the night, to watch movies or make out, I need the boost. So I usually drink Vault (or the Wal-Mart generic Mountain Thunder, actually pretty darn good, but that's another rant for another post.)
She wanted me to eat better. That's where I began to scream, hold on there Sally. (That's not her name, but you get my point.) I've been doing a lot, don't mess with my food. She suggested Lean Cuisine. My first impression was YUCK. But like all the other times, I relented because she wants me to live long.
So for the past few weeks I've been taking Lean Cuisine dinners to work for lunch. And to be quite honest... they aren't bad at all. I'm not saying this because I'm "used" to them, right off the bat they were pretty good. Plus their selection is pretty impressive. Most are under 300 calories and have single digit fat grams. You get a pretty good amount too. The Chinese dishes are small, but the rest is a good size.
They have lots of different types of food, comfort food like chicken and stuffing, Salisbury steak with mac 'n' cheese. They have Chinese food that I actually like, pot stickers, chicken with snow peas and noodles. Pretty decent pizza and their new Bistro melts. I only have two complaints, one is that they overload the food with funky stuff like onions, peppers and mushrooms. I understand they provide flavor and color, but I'm not a fan. I end up spending most of my lunch picking them off. The other complaint is that the food is a little bland. (Of course, I just removed the onions and peppers.) No, no... a perfect example is the Chinese food stuff, they are in desperate need for soy sauce. I sprinkle a little salt 'n' pepper on the other stuff just to add a little flavor.
So yesterday I ran to the store to get something to drink... I find a Mt Dew Livewire (Orange flavor) and it's quite good... however I notice Vault has a diet version Vault Zero. Zero sugar, zero calories. Cool I love Vault. I pick one of them up as well. I mean Coke Zero isn't all that bad, so maybe Vault Zero will be good too.
Well.... it's not. It tastes artificial, fake, you really can tell the difference, and that's why I hate diet drinks. YUCK! I'm not going to get it again.
However, from a caloric standpoint, if I eat the 300 or less Lean Cuisine meals for lunch and dinner (I proposed to my wife we start eating them for dinner too.) That would be 600 or less calories for the day, add in oatmeal or cereal for breakfast and all the snacks and whatnot and our daily intake is still pretty low.
So why not have regular soda? It's not a question of balancing it all out so there are no benefits to eating Lean Cuisine, but because they are so low in calories, you can have a soda and not exceed the daily caloric intake. See what I'm getting at? I guess what I'm really trying to say is...
You can have your Vault and drink it too.
-Jeff
I mean... it's like saying "Getting kicked in the nads hurts, but if you keep doing it, eventually you'll get used to it." Nope. Never going to happen, that's not something you WANT to get used to.
Not exactly apples to apples, but you get my point.
Soda is a good example of this. You have regular, yummy, rich soda like Vault, Mt. Dew, Rootbeer and Coke. Then you have the diet versions...
Totally not the same, of course, but I keep getting told, "drink them long enough and you'll get used to it." Goes back to my original point. Now... I drink a lot of liquid during the day. A lot. I'd love it if I could drink water most of the time, however I just can't drink large amounts of water like everyone else... it's too watery. (Hehe) And if it's mineral water... it's waaaaayyyy tooo salty tasting.
Now here's my point...
My wife wants me to out live her. She says she wants to die first so she won't be left on this world without me. (Makes me almost cry.) I'm like... I don't wanna be here without you either. But she gets that one I guess.
She suggested I drink 1% milk instead of the 2% I've been drinking since the dawn of time. She also wanted me to cut down the 3 gallons I used to drink a week to just one. Yes 3 gallons a week. I love milk. I was reluctant at first, but I cut down to one gallon a week, sometimes even one gallon every week and a half of the 1%. I'm cool with that.
She didn't like me having a candy dish at work, in case I raided it more than my employees. Poof, no more candy dish at work.
She wanted me to cut down on my soda intake. I'm still working on that one. I have gotten off the caffene somewhat, I would rather drink grape, orange or rootbeer soda. But when I need to stay awake for the night, to watch movies or make out, I need the boost. So I usually drink Vault (or the Wal-Mart generic Mountain Thunder, actually pretty darn good, but that's another rant for another post.)
She wanted me to eat better. That's where I began to scream, hold on there Sally. (That's not her name, but you get my point.) I've been doing a lot, don't mess with my food. She suggested Lean Cuisine. My first impression was YUCK. But like all the other times, I relented because she wants me to live long.
So for the past few weeks I've been taking Lean Cuisine dinners to work for lunch. And to be quite honest... they aren't bad at all. I'm not saying this because I'm "used" to them, right off the bat they were pretty good. Plus their selection is pretty impressive. Most are under 300 calories and have single digit fat grams. You get a pretty good amount too. The Chinese dishes are small, but the rest is a good size.
They have lots of different types of food, comfort food like chicken and stuffing, Salisbury steak with mac 'n' cheese. They have Chinese food that I actually like, pot stickers, chicken with snow peas and noodles. Pretty decent pizza and their new Bistro melts. I only have two complaints, one is that they overload the food with funky stuff like onions, peppers and mushrooms. I understand they provide flavor and color, but I'm not a fan. I end up spending most of my lunch picking them off. The other complaint is that the food is a little bland. (Of course, I just removed the onions and peppers.) No, no... a perfect example is the Chinese food stuff, they are in desperate need for soy sauce. I sprinkle a little salt 'n' pepper on the other stuff just to add a little flavor.
So yesterday I ran to the store to get something to drink... I find a Mt Dew Livewire (Orange flavor) and it's quite good... however I notice Vault has a diet version Vault Zero. Zero sugar, zero calories. Cool I love Vault. I pick one of them up as well. I mean Coke Zero isn't all that bad, so maybe Vault Zero will be good too.
Well.... it's not. It tastes artificial, fake, you really can tell the difference, and that's why I hate diet drinks. YUCK! I'm not going to get it again.
However, from a caloric standpoint, if I eat the 300 or less Lean Cuisine meals for lunch and dinner (I proposed to my wife we start eating them for dinner too.) That would be 600 or less calories for the day, add in oatmeal or cereal for breakfast and all the snacks and whatnot and our daily intake is still pretty low.
So why not have regular soda? It's not a question of balancing it all out so there are no benefits to eating Lean Cuisine, but because they are so low in calories, you can have a soda and not exceed the daily caloric intake. See what I'm getting at? I guess what I'm really trying to say is...
You can have your Vault and drink it too.
-Jeff
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Do you remember those dorky postcards?
The ones that you get while toiling away in your stupid job. A family member or friend is on a cool vacation somewhere and you get one of these in the mail...
They have exotic looking stamps and post marks from far away countries, the writing is blurred from being in the mail for a week. The writing on the bottom is always cut off with that weird barcode they stamp on the bottom of the card.
I like taking vacations, I need to do it more often, but I'm never gone long enough to justify a post card. No one misses me in just a few days. And with the invention of the cell phone, it's almost like no one is ever gone. I could call you from the top of the Empire State Building and for all you know I could be in my bathroom.
We need real-time video phones. Take note Verizon!
So I got to thinking... and this is completely in the opposite direction when talking about vacations... but instead of wishing YOU were somewhere, I find myself wishing I was somewhere...
Here to be exact...
Yes... I wish I was in bed right now. Next to my warm and beautiful wife. Next to her softness. Next to her scent. Her snores, her micro-dreams. Her terrified awakenings when I move or cough or scratch my arm. It's cute.
I reach over in the middle of the night and I can feel her next to me. I roll over and see her pretty smile when we wake up. I hear her voice greeting me from my slumber. She sometimes reaches over and scratches my arm, or chest, or face... truly the best feeling ever.
For a moment all is good. However short-lived. I need to get up and get ready for work. Yuck. I must leave the warm bed, I must leave my beautiful wife as she returns to sleep. I shower and get dressed. Sometimes she's awake when I leave, other times she's sound asleep.
I always take a few moments to look at her, fill my head with all she is before I leave her for nearly 10 hours a day. I have three pictures of my wife here at work... but it's not enough.
I wish I was there, babe. I love you.
-Jeff
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
