I love Fridays...

Most people do, I suppose.

What I love about them is that most of the people here at work are gone. So it's quiet. Plus I get to leave early most of the time AND get paid for it. 'tis nice! It gives me time to catch up on my weekly work. No one bugs me, no one needs my help.

The roads are usually less congested. You get to wear jeans and a t-shirt. I'm sportin' the cool beige denim pants my wife got me a long time ago from Old Navy and a black button up short sleeve shirt, black belt and black shoes.

This morning my wife said I looked all sorts of cool, hot, cute, handsome, take your pick... and I believe her... yeah, yeah, yeah... :D




So here's something funny...



Do you ever have others not believe you, even when you're telling the honest truth about something?

I do... and it bugs! I'm not a liar most of the time... I always get called on my lies, most of them are silly and harmless, more story-telling than lies... I love telling stories. Tall tales. But you can always tell when I'm making something up because I usually go off on a very strange tangent usually involving weasels and giant donuts.

But there are times when I do tell the truth. For the most part I'm a truthful person. Here are some examples;

1. After I graduated High School I got a phone call from the school, they had the wrong number. They were looking for a student named "James" or something, I can't remember exactly. James had been sluffing (playing hooky) from school for some time. The principal called to see what was up. So of course hearing a young man's voice he naturally assumed I was James.

"You have the wrong number, there's no James here."

"Cut the crap James, why aren't you going to school?"

"I'm not James... I swear! My name is Jeff, I graduated last year, check your files."

He never did believe me, but eventually stopped calling. Maybe he checked his files?



And that reminds me of another similar story... I was chillin at Dee's, a local diner, having lunch one day in 1996 or so. It just so happened to be across the street from a high school. I kept wondering why I was getting such lousy service and dirty looks from the staff. Suddenly a man approached me with a walkie-talkie. He had a badge from the school district.

"Students aren't allowed here during school hours."

That's good to know, I thought, but what does that have to do with me? It then dawned on me that everyone thought I was a student. This sucks!

"What class are you supposed to be in?" He asked.

"I'm not a student."

"Nice try, get up and get back to class."

"No really... I'm not a student." At this point everyone in the restaurant was staring at me. The waitress was standing there tapping her foot. She had this look on her face as if I were going to stiff her the check and tip.

"Let's see your student ID."

"I don't have one because I'm not a student... here's my State ID." (At the time I didn't have my driver's licence yet, another long story.)

JEFF P. - BORN 04/27/74, Yes, and as of 1996 that made me 22 years old. The guy checks the ID like a bartender, making sure it's not fake. Calls my name in on his walkie to make sure there wasn't a 22 year old student still attending high school.

He tells me they have problems with students coming into the restaurant during school hours. So the staff calls when they suspect one is there... I guess I should be complimented that I was so youthful that I looked like a kid, of course at 22, one isn't much more mature usually. I was still getting carded at bars and restaurants at 33 years old, haha.

2. My wife. For some reason she thinks I'm always making things up. One example... I was talking about Hawaii. I said they have all of the climate zones in one state. Tropical, desert, temperate and snow.

Of course she doesn't believe there's snowfall on Hawaii. She makes a bet... $160 bucks. I of course knew I was right, so I didn't bet her, because I didn't want her to lose. Even though the money woulda been nice, it was a sucker's bet, in my opinion. I've seen pics of the observatory on the top of the mountains covered in snow. So I knew I was right.

She still didn't believe me... so we head over to wikipedia.com, search for Hawaii. She's reading aloud with such confidence that she's right and I'm wrong.

"The climate of Hawaii is typical for a tropical area. Summer highs are usually in the upper 80s°F, during the day and mid 70s, at night. Winter temperatures during the day are usually in the low to mid 80s, and (at low elevation) seldom dipping below the mid 60s at night. Snow, although not usually associated with tropics, falls at the higher elevations of Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa on the Big Island in some winter months."

She stops reading... "Shizzz!!!" she exclaims.

Yes baby, I was right. Why would I lie to you, honey?!!!




However, I do have some fun with my lies too...

We were driving home one night and passed a self-storage place called Castle Storage. It looks like a castle, all decked out with towers and everything. They have a sign that reads:

"Why store in the dungeon, when you can use a castle?"

I told my beautiful wife that I thought that was funny because "Dungeon" was Latin for "a storage place for castles" Total bullcrap!!! Hahaha, and I never thought she'd believe me... but she did.

When I fessed up, she was a little upset with me. I never intended to make her feel stupid, but I guess I did, I'm sorry honey! I love you. you're the smartest person I know...

And that's the truth!

-Jeff